can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
