how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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