He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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