I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
