i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
