Pappa wants mamma naked
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
