just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
