Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
