I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
