I seem to have left my pride at pride
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
