I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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