Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize