It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
