We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
false alarm, still single
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