did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
