youre lurking in front of me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
