I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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