He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
