you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
