Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
