I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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