i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
