So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
mondays should just be called national damage control day
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
