Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize