to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
