Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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