What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize