I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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