the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
