I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
