from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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