Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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