She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
