Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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