Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
