I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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