my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
