I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
