Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
