So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
