I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
