In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
