Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
