People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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