The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
