so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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