I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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