Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
