But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize