p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
