Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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