i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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