You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
