Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
