why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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