Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize