Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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