oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
