We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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