atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
