Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
