I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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