idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
