just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
