That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
