i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
