did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
