There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
