dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
